1 00:00:01,349 --> 00:00:03,960 - Andy, you ready, buddy? - Hurry up, guys. 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:05,396 We're gonna be late for the parade! 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,745 Okay. Relax, Andy. 4 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,138 The parade is not going anywhere. 5 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,357 - I don't want to miss the floats. 6 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,793 Nah, we're okay, buddy. 7 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:12,403 - Andy, why are you so pumped up? 8 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,014 - Cause I love the Thanksgiving parade. 9 00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,711 When I was a kid, I loved seeing 10 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,321 the engine go down the street. 11 00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:18,801 - You still sound like a little kid. 12 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,237 I don't know about all that, 13 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:21,717 but you could call me a card-carrying 14 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,284 Parade-ophile! 15 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:24,720 [cackles] 16 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,287 - I'd be careful how you enunciate that. 17 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,984 - Ike, come on. Let's get moving, hurry! 18 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,551 - Okay, little buddy. We got lots of time. 19 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,161 You know the parade route's just two blocks 20 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,597 - from here, right? - Are we there yet? 21 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,251 - [laughs] - Are we there yet? 22 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,600 - All right, we'll be there in a sec. 23 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,472 - Just kidding. Are we there yet? 24 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:40,257 [engine rumbles and sputters] 25 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:43,652 - [clanking and rattling] - Oh! 26 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,787 [hissing] 27 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,749 - No, sir. This engine's going nowhere. 28 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,665 - No, no, not today. - Aw, I'm sorry, Andy. 29 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,406 - Well, why can't we throw the truck in neutral? 30 00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,147 I could ride on top, and then the rest of you guys 31 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,713 could just push it down the parade route. 32 00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:02,975 - We need to get the engine fixed 33 00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,412 in case we get a call. Hey, Ike, 34 00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:05,935 call the superintendent of apparatus. 35 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:07,676 Spatchcock? No! 36 00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,678 - Chief, please. - We need to get it fixed. 37 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,809 Chief, not Spatchcock. 38 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,550 - Not today! - Ike, call him. 39 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,813 - Okay. - [huffs] 40 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,773 - Andy, don't act like a baby. - Okay. Go easy on him, Chief. 41 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,818 - He had his heart set on it. - That's no reason to pout. 42 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,690 - Well, leave me alone! - Hey! 43 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,996 You go cool off in the bunk room, pal. 44 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,303 - Fine! Stupid engine... 45 00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:27,696 - He'll be all right, poor fella. 46 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,350 - He just needs his nap. - Hey, Andy, 47 00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,656 just remember everything you should be thankful for. 48 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,484 - Fuck you! - Oh! 49 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:34,964 You watch that mouth, young man! 50 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,531 - See what happens when you give him juice? 51 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:39,621 - Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. 52 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,624 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 53 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:47,542 ♪ 54 00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:50,240 - ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded 55 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,895 ♪ Check it and see 56 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:56,855 ♪ I got a fever of 103 57 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,553 ♪ I'm hot-blooded 58 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,775 - Well, hopefully a blown-out engine 59 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,690 is the only problem you guys have on Thanksgiving. 60 00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,301 - What could be worse? - Don't jinx us. 61 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,172 I predict three deep-fried turkey fires today. 62 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,913 - All right, well, now that the parade's a bust, 63 00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,567 I'm gonna head out to the family dinner. 64 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,699 - Oh, you're leaving, Chief? - Are you sure you don't 65 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,005 want to hang out with us this year? 66 00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,224 Nah, Vicky's working, 67 00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:18,529 so I'm gonna join Lucy's sisters 68 00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:19,791 over at their granddad's house. 69 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,619 - Thanksgiving with the Commish. 70 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:24,231 I've spent a lifetime trying to avoid my dad on this day. 71 00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,537 - I'm glad I'm on duty. - And I'm glad I'm not. 72 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:27,886 I'm gonna go change into my civvies 73 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,366 and get outta here before Spatchcock 74 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,151 shows up to fix that engine. [all groan] 75 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,327 - Ugh, Spatchcock is disgusting. 76 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,155 He's always covered in grease and muck 77 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,852 and he's always bleeding from somewhere. 78 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,636 - Spatchcock is always going on and on 79 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,943 about some useless drivel. Ugh! 80 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,163 - Spatchcock. He always makes me feel like 81 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,686 it's my fault when anything breaks down. 82 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,557 - All right. Well, have fun everyone. 83 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,951 - We'll miss you deeply, Chiefy! 84 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,605 - [quietly] Nice acting job. 85 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,694 Even I believed you wanted Chief to stick around. 86 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:55,175 - Thank you. It really was a masterclass, wasn't it? 87 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,568 I love him, but the best part about working on Thanksgiving 88 00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:00,745 is we get to do it our way, not the Terry McConky way. 89 00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,747 He can be a bit overbearing. 90 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,619 At home, he makes us wear Pilgrim hats, 91 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,448 play touch football, eat all his lame dishes. 92 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,058 This is gonna be my first Thanksgiving 93 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,973 without all his rules, and I am very excited. 94 00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,931 - Station Thanksgiving has no rules. 95 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:14,019 Now you're talking! 96 00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,020 For dinner, we can make 97 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,021 whatever we want. 98 00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,675 I'm making spaghetti pie. 99 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,503 - I'm making turkey and stuffing, but this year, 100 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,723 it's a free-range Narraganset turkey, 101 00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,899 and I'm stuffing it with crab meat 102 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,944 stuffed inside a salmon. 103 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:28,991 - Ooh, you're talking about turcrabmon? 104 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,036 I just read about that in this November's issue 105 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,561 - of "Delicious AF." - Yeah! 106 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:36,216 - See, this is the Thanksgiving I've always dreamed of. 107 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:38,609 - Let's get it started with a homemade onion dip. 108 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:41,090 Lucy, do me a favor and chop some onions, please. 109 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,657 - How am I already the onion bitch? 110 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,224 - Oh, yeah. - I'm just glad that 111 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,182 I don't have to eat my dad's yams this year. 112 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,749 I've been hiding them in my napkin 113 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,577 and flushing them down the toilet for ten years. 114 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,492 - But I love a good sweet potato pie. 115 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,058 - Pretty sure they're different. 116 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,712 - Sweet potatoes and yams are the same thing. 117 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:55,800 No, actually guys, I think 118 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,976 all sweet potatoes are yams, 119 00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,979 but not all yams are sweet potatoes. 120 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,807 Wrong! 121 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:05,897 A yam is not a yam at all. 122 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,813 They're all sweet potatoes. Ugh! 123 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,989 - Spatchcock. - [through teeth] Spatchcock. 124 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,122 In the 1930s, a farmer called 125 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:16,125 a soft, orange sweet potato a yam 126 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,649 to distinguish it from other sweet potatoes. 127 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:21,304 But a real yam is a root vegetable 128 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,958 found in tropical climates. 129 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,962 So your yam is not a yam at all! 130 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,268 You got any duct tape? 131 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,531 I sliced my thumb on a fan blade. 132 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:31,880 Come on, Spatchcock. 133 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,577 Why don't you go wash that off, man? 134 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,405 - We can put a bandage on it. - The tape's adhesive 135 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,451 binds with the motor oil, creates a salve. 136 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,583 Most people don't know that. 137 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:42,238 Oh, thank you there, Crysie. 138 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,023 If only you could treat the engine with as much care. 139 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,677 - I didn't do anything to it, Spatchcock. 140 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:50,420 - That's funny. Always seems to happen on your watch. 141 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,117 Oh, dear Lord! 142 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:54,642 Young lady, you're throwing away the best part. 143 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,905 [groans] 144 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,299 Up to 35% of the onion's vitamin C 145 00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,083 accumulates on the ends. 146 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,259 Huh, no? Okay, suit yourself. 147 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,956 All right. Enjoy. 148 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,176 - She's an odd one, huh? - Okay, Spatchcock. 149 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,830 The engine's outside. Get to work. 150 00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,354 - What, do you got yourself a free-range bird there? 151 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,747 - Uh-huh. 152 00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,096 - Definitely the worst type to buy. 153 00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,706 Eventually, see, when they do face death, 154 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,405 they release an adrenal fear hormone. 155 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,624 Makes the meat taste bitter. 156 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,626 Yeah. [squelch] 157 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,587 [gags] Bitter. 158 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:29,241 - Shut up, Spatchcock. The meat is great. 159 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,156 And don't you ever touch my turkey again. 160 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,594 [gobbles] 161 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,683 Oh, the big mon! 162 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,032 How do you do? 163 00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,947 Salutations, Chief. 164 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,731 Spatchcock, how's the engine? 165 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,951 - Crystal did a number on it, but I can fix it. 166 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,735 In the meantime, I brought you a spare engine. 167 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,215 - Fantastic. I gotta get going, sorry. 168 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,957 Hey, I like the ensemble. 169 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,611 You look like you stepped right out 170 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,526 of a Norman Rockwell painting. 171 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,092 - Thank you very much. I appreciate that. 172 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,659 Yeah, interesting story. 173 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,269 At the beginning of World War I, 174 00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,794 Norman Rockwell tries to enlist in the Navy. 175 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,404 He gets rejected. Why? 176 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:05,016 - He's 17 pounds underweight. - Fascinating-- 177 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,018 - Now check this out. What's he do? 178 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,803 He bulks up for the next couple weeks 179 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:12,154 on a diet of donuts and bananas. 180 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,808 Now I don't think there was anything sexual, 181 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:17,289 but we all have a dark side. 182 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,117 Pretty sure I know yours, Chief. 183 00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,728 - Okay, pal. - Great. 184 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,950 - [quietly] I'll show you a masterclass in acting. 185 00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,430 Enjoy! 186 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,084 - Chief, are you sure you can't stay? 187 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,520 - Oh, yeah, I gotta get to the Commish's 188 00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:32,000 before they carve the bird. 189 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,002 - Well, just know that Thanksgiving's 190 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,265 not gonna be the same without you. 191 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,137 Aw, don't cry. 192 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:40,704 My little girl doesn't want to be away 193 00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:42,445 from her daddy on Thanksgiving. 194 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,447 What was I thinking? Of course I'll stay. 195 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,493 I'm gonna spend the day with my number-one girl. 196 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,016 - Oh, whoa, whoa! Chief, Chief. 197 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,931 What about your other two daughters? 198 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,063 - Eh, I'll just call 'em and tell 'em I'm not gonna make it. 199 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,543 - No, no, no. You don't wanna do that. 200 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,240 'Cause then they'll be upset-- [stammers] 201 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,808 - Yeah, Lucy will be fine. - I'm fine. I'm just-- 202 00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:00,420 - You know, I'm chopping onions. - I know you're fine. 203 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,856 'Cause I'm staying. 204 00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,248 I wonder if I have those Pilgrim hats 205 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,336 still in my office. 206 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,601 Poorly played, Lucy. 207 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,254 You go get rid of him right now. 208 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,952 - Okay, all right. I'm sorry. [alarm blaring] 209 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,562 - Station 24, 448 Reed Boulevard. 210 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,346 Kitchen fire from a deep-fried turkey. 211 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,087 - When we get back, you're getting rid of him. 212 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:25,096 [hammering] 213 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,621 - That turkey exploded like it was stuffed with fireworks. 214 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,971 - No salmonella there. That bird was overcooked. 215 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:33,017 - Spatchcock, how's it going down there? 216 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,802 Hope you're done soon 'cause that loaner sucks 217 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,325 compared to my baby here. 218 00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,458 - Yeah, how much longer? [cranking] 219 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,024 Hey, Spatchcock, you hear me? 220 00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,505 Spatchie? 221 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,899 - Whoa! What the hell? - Oh! 222 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,511 [cranking continues] 223 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,078 - Uh-huh. Thought so. 224 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,254 Oops! Ah, busted. 225 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:55,344 Just helping myself to some of your delicacies. 226 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,911 That's my French onion dip. 227 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,522 - Oui, oui. Could use a bit more onion. 228 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,176 - That's a double dip? - Yeah. 229 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,656 Plenty for everybody. 230 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,006 - Spatchcock, your blood is in the bowl, man! 231 00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,399 - Is it blood, or food coloring? 232 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,836 It's blood. 233 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,315 - Let's go watch some football. - Ugh! 234 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,535 - Yeah. - Yeah, get out of here. 235 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:14,276 Busy, busy. 236 00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,713 [sighs] 237 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,454 [TV chatter] 238 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,369 - Hey, Chief, we were gonna watch some football. 239 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,631 Lucy knows the routine. 240 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,851 Parade first, then football. 241 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,200 Don't worry. I taped the game. 242 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,375 - Why didn't you tape the parade 243 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:27,507 and watch the game live? 244 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,725 Parades are way better live! 245 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,118 Andy, you love parades! 246 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,902 I love riding in parades. 247 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,208 Watching a parade on TV 248 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,905 is for little kids and psychopaths. 249 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,516 - Hey, simmer down, pal. - What? 250 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,648 - Here's Buzz Lightyear. He's in that toy movie. 251 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,910 About the story about the toys. 252 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,608 I can't remember the name of it. 253 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:44,959 Be careful with those ropes! He might really fly away. 254 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,917 - Man, I bet my little sisters are so bummed 255 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,919 they don't get to watch the parade with you this year. 256 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,965 - No, I talked to them; they're fine with me being here. 257 00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,357 - You guys, let's get cleaned up 258 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,794 and get ready for the Turkey giveaway. 259 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,404 - Hey, the cast of "King Kong: The Musical" 260 00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,624 - is on after the commercial. - Uh-huh. 261 00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,582 - Okay. - What's that? 262 00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,018 It's my carving set. 263 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,585 I brought it for dinner at the Commish's, 264 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,804 but now I'm just gonna use it here. 265 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,545 [blade scraping] 266 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,721 - I carve the turkey here. - Not when I'm around. 267 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,331 I carve the turkey. It's tradition. 268 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,506 Terry, this isn't your house. 269 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,073 I'm carving the turkey here. 270 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,728 - I'm the Chief. I carve the turkey, Captain. 271 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,643 [chuckles] 272 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,515 Super sharp. 273 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,693 Uncle Eddie, I tried. 274 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:25,913 - Well, try harder. Because there's no way 275 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,568 he's gonna stab my turcrabmon! 276 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,012 You guys, man. 277 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:41,537 He's making engine pizza out of our scraps. 278 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,408 Hey, Spatchcock, you know you can use 279 00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,149 the stove inside, if you want. 280 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,847 - Thanks, Granny, but actually I prefer this. 281 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,370 It's a technique my wife taught me. 282 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,806 She was a long-haul trucker. 283 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,417 Cooked many a-engine pizza in her days. 284 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,158 Okay... 285 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,464 - You guys, we should invite him 286 00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,944 to stay with us for dinner. 287 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,467 - No way! Are you kidding me? No. 288 00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,121 - Yeah, he can have dinner with his wife. 289 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,166 - Haven't you seen "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"? 290 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,864 - His wife's probably dead! - I haven't seen it. 291 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,300 - And you just ruined it. - I'm serious. 292 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,693 His wife's probably dead. 293 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,651 He's probably very alone right now. 294 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,218 - You're right. My wife is dead. 295 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:12,046 - Oh, you--I'm sorry, man. 296 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:14,178 - You could hear us? - Yeah, I hear everything. 297 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,615 She died a couple years back. 298 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,791 Logging accident. 299 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,488 - Yes, it was her fault. - Hey, man. 300 00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:22,447 Look, we're really sorry to hear about that. 301 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,667 And with that being said, we'd like to invite you 302 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,147 to join us for dinner. 303 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,453 - You're sweeter than a honeycrisp, Granny, 304 00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,455 but, uh, actually already have plans 305 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,153 with my girlfriend. 306 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,197 Who's a model. 307 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,156 Yeah, and her twin sister, 308 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:37,637 and we're gonna probably hot tub 309 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,856 and, uh, shave each other. 310 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,641 - Okay, cool. See? He's not available. 311 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,294 He's gonna be in a hot tub with two twins 312 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,687 and they're gonna shave each other. 313 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,603 Keep an eye on the pizza. 314 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,258 I'm gonna go steal some cheese from that spa-gah-ti pie. 315 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,608 Spa-gah-ti! That's how you say it. 316 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,218 - It's obvious that he has too much pride 317 00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,830 to admit that he has nowhere to go. 318 00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,440 I say, over the course of the day, 319 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,572 we secretly break equipment for him to fix, 320 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,009 and then, by the time he's done, 321 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,706 it'll be easy for him to stay. 322 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,708 - Pfft, lame! - Hey. 323 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,623 - Why don't you grow up and start thinking 324 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,060 about other people instead of yourself, mister? 325 00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,236 - Okay, listen. I'll do it. 326 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,238 But only because I like breaking stuff. 327 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,110 - Scatter! Hurry, scatter! - What? 328 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,155 - Hurry! Come on! Go, go, go! He's coming. He's coming. 329 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,723 - Hey, who's ready for some football? 330 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,421 - Chief, right now isn't a good time. 331 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,467 - Hey, Captain, button hook. - Come on, Terry. 332 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:26,773 My hands are covered with Crisco. 333 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,600 I'm going long. 334 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:29,950 Come on. Whip it. 335 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,734 - Dad! Dad! - What are you doing? 336 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,605 - all: Oh! - Dad, are you okay? 337 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,217 - Hey. Hey, man. - I'm okay. 338 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:40,003 Hey, touchdown! [sighs] 339 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,136 Okay. I didn't hurt my back, so I consider that a victory. 340 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:43,964 - How about that flattened turkey down there? 341 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,053 - This one? Oh, boy. 342 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,490 Oh, yeah. It's a little squished, huh? 343 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,187 It'll be okay. Just rub some dirt in it. 344 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,059 Right, guys? Hey! 345 00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:54,365 All right, who's up? Somebody go for a pass. 346 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:55,802 - Oh, shit. My back. - All right, I'll go. 347 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:58,456 - Here you go-- oh, fuck. 348 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,378 - You making mashed potatoes? - Mm-hmm. 349 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,467 - You know the key to good mashed potatoes? 350 00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:11,295 Butter. The more butter, the better. 351 00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,775 That's what I always say. 352 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,646 - I'm not making traditional mashed potatoes. 353 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,997 This recipe calls for soy milk and parmesan cheese. 354 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,868 Ah, gross. 355 00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,697 You stir like a caveman. 356 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,700 - Is that crab meat? - Yes. 357 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,484 - In your stuffing? - Yes. 358 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,138 - Crab meat stuffing? - You know, 359 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,792 if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. 360 00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,272 We should try Stove Top. 361 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,839 - Oh, God. What are you, six years old? 362 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,231 - You've never let us have it before, 363 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,450 and I've always wanted to try it. 364 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:36,494 Let me tell you something: 365 00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:37,931 stuffing is a delicacy, 366 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,584 and it deserves delicious accents 367 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,761 like pecans or figs. 368 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,066 Ooh, or apples! 369 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,329 I'm gonna get you apples. 370 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,201 - I would hide that turkey right now. 371 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,203 He's gonna give you ten suggestions on how to cook it. 372 00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,813 And that's before he sees 373 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,859 that you've stuffed it with salmon and crab. 374 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,251 Get rid of him! 375 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,647 - Well, I couldn't find any apples, 376 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,388 but I got raisins. Next best thing, right? 377 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,259 - Dad, maybe you should let him make what he wants. 378 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,609 - This looks like leftover night at the United Nations. 379 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,394 - Dad, if you want a traditional Thanksgiving, 380 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,787 then go over to Grandpa's house. 381 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,223 We don't have any of that stuff here. 382 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,964 - Oh, I do. It's in my truck. 383 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,835 I was gonna bring it to your granddad's house. 384 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,532 Go out to my truck. I got canned corn, 385 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,578 canned cranberries, canned gravy. 386 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,928 Oh, and your favorite, canned yams, huh? 387 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:22,062 Go ahead. Quick like a bunny. 388 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,716 Meanwhile, I'm gonna raisin this up. 389 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,631 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm adding raisins. 390 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,633 The more wrinkled the raisin, the sweeter the fruit. 391 00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:32,159 - You pick those out of there right now. 392 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,900 [clattering] 393 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,771 - Why am I the one that needs to squeeze back here? 394 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,860 - 'Cause you're smaller than we are. 395 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,820 If we sabotage the air ducts, then maybe I'll do it, okay? 396 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,517 Just don't be a baby about it, Andy. 397 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,084 - [explosion] - [yelps] 398 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,476 Ooh, busted. 399 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,915 Washing machine down. 400 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,177 Good job, little buddy. 401 00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:52,135 - You made that washer unusable. 402 00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:53,397 I'm gonna go tell Spatchcock. 403 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,008 - Chief. Hey, Chief, Chief. 404 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,184 Chief, Chief, Chief, Chief. 405 00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:59,273 You know, if they really wanna fix football, 406 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,275 they ought to hang a tire from the goal post. 407 00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,016 If you kick the ball through it, 75 points. 408 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,452 That'd be a game. 409 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,845 - Don't you have something to go fix? 410 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,672 Trying to fix football. 411 00:14:07,716 --> 00:14:09,239 Hey, Spatchcock. 412 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,719 Our washing machine is acting up. 413 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,068 You think you could take a look at it? 414 00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,417 - You guys are a bunch of clowns. 415 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:14,636 Right on. 416 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:15,942 Okay, all right. 417 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,987 Okay, Jesus. 418 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,946 - You should trim the ends of those beans. 419 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,122 Adds more flavor. 420 00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,341 - We need this guy outta here. He's gonna ruin our whole day. 421 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,952 - [alarm blaring] - Station 24. 422 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:28,389 Fire at 3002 Pembroke Avenue. 423 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:31,783 Deep-fried turkey accident. 424 00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:34,264 - Hey, sorry. I'd join you, but I'm off-duty. 425 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,918 And I just cracked number two. 426 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,615 - Yeah, I can tell by your bar tan. 427 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,269 Don't worry. You just relax. 428 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,141 And do me a favor and man the turkey giveaway table 429 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,752 - while we're gone. - Will do. 430 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,275 Oh, come on. He jumped. 431 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,450 He jumped! 432 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,193 There you go. That's a heavy one. 433 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,804 15-pounder. Happy holiday, sir. Thank you. 434 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,459 Hi, how are ya? 435 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,157 Hmm. 436 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,246 Looks a little banged up, huh? 437 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:02,031 Maybe we could find you another one. 438 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,643 I'm not sure if maybe-- 439 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:08,298 oh, I got one over here. 440 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,692 Ah, look at this. 441 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,955 Oh, it's heavy. 442 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,870 - Hey, keep the pan. - Thank you. 443 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:20,180 Oh, yeah. 444 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:21,616 Don't you worry, my flat friend. 445 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,053 We will find a home for you. 446 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,185 Okay. 447 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:31,060 [brakes squealing] Gonna watch some football! 448 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,106 - Ooh, baby! Gotta tell you. 449 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,238 That repaired engine was purring like a kitten. 450 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,805 It felt great. 451 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,286 - Thanks, Crystal. Let's keep it that way. 452 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,374 Yeah, you bet. 453 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:41,766 - Hoo-hoo! 454 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,681 Can't wait to get my bird in the oven. 455 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,509 Where's my turkey? 456 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,207 Might wanna ask the Chief. 457 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:50,079 - Nobody cooks my turkey but me. 458 00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,733 Oh, brother. 459 00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:54,301 - Time out, time out. Call timeout! Come on. 460 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:56,390 - Where's my turkey? - What turkey? 461 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,087 Spatchcock says you took it. 462 00:15:58,131 --> 00:16:00,046 - Speaking of turkeys, when's that guy gonna leave? 463 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,483 - What's this? - Oh, that's a smushed one. 464 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:03,963 I figured we could use it to round out 465 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,703 our traditional Thanksgiving dinner. 466 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,923 - I bought an expensive, free-range, Narraganset turkey, 467 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,446 and I had it out there on the app floor. 468 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,013 - What happened to it? - That's where we keep 469 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,972 the giveaways. Why would you put it there? 470 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,104 - So you wouldn't mess with it. - Well, you should've put it 471 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,627 somewhere else. It's gone. 472 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,238 - But I stuffed it with crab and salmon. 473 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,109 - Sounds gross. That woman's gonna be bummed. 474 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,026 - [chuckles] Tape ain't gonna cut it 475 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,246 for a big head like me. I need my stapler. 476 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,726 - Enough is enough. It's time to just come out and tell him. 477 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,163 What am I supposed to say? 478 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,903 - He is ruining our Thanksgiving. 479 00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,080 Pfft, Spatchcock. 480 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,646 - But he's my dad. I can't just tell him 481 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,997 we don't want him around. 482 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,433 Did you know that the guys are actually 483 00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,043 trying to get Spatchcock to stay? 484 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,827 Spatchcock? Why? 485 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,351 - They think it'd be a good gesture. 486 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:46,875 - [chuckles] Think of the irony of that. 487 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:48,442 Trying to get the Chief to leave 488 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,574 and Spatchcock to stay. 489 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,968 Who woulda thunk it? [laughter] 490 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,752 - All right. I'll tell him. 491 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:55,840 Okay. 492 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,322 Dad. 493 00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,716 No, look. Can I--can I explain? 494 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,067 Dad, hold on. 495 00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,808 - Dad, wait. - Gotta go. 496 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:09,158 Gonna be late for dinner with your sisters. 497 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,813 Dad, come on. 498 00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,294 Dad. [car sputtering] 499 00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:17,688 Hey, can we just talk? 500 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:20,039 Dad? 501 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,606 - I can't hear you. - Okay, okay. 502 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,131 Well, can you roll the window down? 503 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,741 I can't roll the window down. 504 00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,699 - I thought you couldn't hear me. 505 00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,049 [grumbles] 506 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,749 I just had this truck serviced. 507 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,316 Dad, please stay. 508 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,100 - Shouldn't you be saying that to Spatchcock? 509 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,841 Sounds like he's the one you want to stay. 510 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,104 - I'm sorry. I should've said something sooner. 511 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,540 I love your traditions, but this was 512 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:44,889 my first Station Thanksgiving 513 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,369 and I was excited about it. 514 00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,892 Because it was mine, and, you know, 515 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,546 I get to be one of the guys. 516 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,070 - Well, why'd you cry when I was leaving? 517 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,549 - Because I was chopping onions. 518 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:54,551 Let that be a lesson to you. 519 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,031 - Only use canned onions. - Dad-- 520 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,424 You know, I was excited 521 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,078 for your first Station Thanksgiving too. 522 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,863 - Please stay. - I know where I'm not welcome. 523 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:02,951 Dad! 524 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,910 [car sputtering] Dad. 525 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:07,216 Seriously? 526 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,140 This turkey is bullshit. 527 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,663 There's no cavity anymore. 528 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,839 It could never have held a crab-stuffed salmon. 529 00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,754 I don't think it's bullshit. 530 00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:25,669 I think it's gonna be a delicious turcrabmon, 531 00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:28,803 even if it's not stuffed with salmon and crab or whatever. 532 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,500 - It won't be turcrabmon without it. 533 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,067 That's what the "crab" and the "mon" 534 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,417 - in the name means. - Oh, right. 535 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,289 Ah, man. Yeah, we thought it was, like, 536 00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:37,725 named after the guy who invented it, 537 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,031 like Ignatius Turcrabmon, or something. 538 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,382 - Who's "we"? - We all did. 539 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,210 - How'd it go? - Not great. 540 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,646 - Yo, the washing machine is fixed, 541 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,691 but I don't see Spatchcock anywhere. 542 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:48,823 [door opens] 543 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,783 Room for one more? 544 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,350 - Yes. all: Hey! 545 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,570 - Yeah, man. Get in here! 546 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:59,616 Hey, how about another? 547 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,662 - You know it! all: Yeah. 548 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,794 [all speaking at once] 549 00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:04,969 The Cock! 550 00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,060 - Why does Spatchcock get to sit at the big table 551 00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:10,453 and I have to sit here all by myself? 552 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,281 - Shh, stop. Because he's our guest. 553 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,501 Do you wanna have our guest sit alone over here? 554 00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:15,763 - Yeah. - Hey, cut it out. 555 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,678 [glass clinking] 556 00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,201 - Excuse me. Listen up, listen up. 557 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,812 So I know I can be a bit of a buttinsky-- 558 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:22,987 - Come on! - No. 559 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:25,338 - No. - Yes, absolutely. 560 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:28,384 - But I was hoping that you guys could tolerate 561 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,038 one more Thanksgiving tradition. 562 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:32,127 I would love to go around the table 563 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,521 and hear what everyone's thankful for. 564 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:37,437 Okay? I'll go first, I'll go first. 565 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,701 All right, I am grateful 566 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:43,356 that you guys put up with me 567 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:46,315 for being, um, 568 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,188 a tiny bit micromanage-y. 569 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,973 But just so you know, it's for your own good, okay? 570 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,279 And that's it. 571 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,672 - I got one, guys. - Oh, okay. 572 00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,674 - Things that I am thankful for: 573 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,807 good health, uh, 574 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,984 learning from my mistakes, 575 00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,247 the kindness of strangers-- 576 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,857 - Ike, what--what's this? 577 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:09,033 - I read an article about things to be thankful for 578 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,687 and wrote them down. 579 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:11,862 Do it from the heart. 580 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:13,342 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 581 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,649 Um, of course. 582 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,607 Uh, just off the top of my head, 583 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:21,524 uh, things that I am personally thankful for: 584 00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:24,179 beautiful mountain streams, the ocean, 585 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,225 - ladybugs, sisterhood-- - Okay. Let me... 586 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,835 From the heart. 587 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,752 - Uh... [clears throat] 588 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,971 Spoons. Like, clean spoons. 589 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,669 A lot of countries don't have-- 590 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,540 actually don't have clean spoons. 591 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,194 - Hey, Ike. Hey, hey, hey, buddy. 592 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,545 Guess what? I'm thankful for Spatchcock joining us. 593 00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:43,633 - Joining us. That's what-- 594 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:44,808 Thank you, Granny. 595 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,420 Wow, okay. 596 00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:50,074 I would say there are probably 597 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:53,817 36 or 37 things I'm grateful for this year. 598 00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:57,081 [laughter] 599 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,605 Okay, number one: 600 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,563 Hirschman Engineering came out with a new line 601 00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:02,217 of ball bearings this past summer. 602 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,175 Now, as you know, Hirschman's typically known 603 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:06,700 for their rod ends or their axial shafts. 604 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,484 And so, when they came out with ball bearings, 605 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:10,573 there was a bunch of us online just having a chitchat, 606 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,967 going, "Can you believe what they just dropped on us?" 607 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:17,667 'Cause Hirschman owns the patents on 45 truck parts. 608 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,495 - Of those 45 truck parts-- - Hi, Bernie. 609 00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:21,236 - We've been thinking about you all day. 610 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,806 - Sorry, gang. I know you really had your heart set 611 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:28,678 on me staying for dinner, but these lovely ladies 612 00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:32,682 really, really wanna have me for dinner. 613 00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:34,249 Little something to go. 614 00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:37,687 - Ugh! - Thanks. 615 00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,082 Chief, one more thing. 616 00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:45,173 I took these out of your truck. 617 00:21:45,216 --> 00:21:46,870 My spark plugs. 618 00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:48,481 - Yeah, I didn't want you to get away 619 00:21:48,524 --> 00:21:51,005 without having a chance to talk to your daughter. 620 00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:52,223 - How did you-- 621 00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,748 I hear everything. 622 00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:56,358 All right, ladies. 623 00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,491 Do your worst. Uh-oh. 624 00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:00,841 [chuckles] I'm about to get punished. 625 00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:02,146 I did not see that coming. 626 00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:03,670 Awoo! 627 00:22:03,713 --> 00:22:05,846 Lates! [laughs] 628 00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:08,239 Whoo! 629 00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,851 - This is how "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" ends? 630 00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:13,767 - Not exactly, but damn, I thought he was lying. 631 00:22:13,810 --> 00:22:15,638 - All right, enough. Let's eat. 632 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,639 - Yes! - Sounds great. 633 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:17,858 I'm gonna let the Captain 634 00:22:17,901 --> 00:22:19,599 carve the flat turkey. 635 00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,340 - Oh, what an honor! [alarm blaring] 636 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:24,604 - Station 24, a fire at 707 Commerce Drive. 637 00:22:24,647 --> 00:22:26,736 It's a fried turkey fire, again. 638 00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:29,260 Move it out. 639 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,828 - I'll hold down the fort, keep the food warm. 640 00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:36,659 Finally, dinner! 641 00:22:36,703 --> 00:22:39,532 - Whoo, baby! - Ooh, yeah. 642 00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:41,403 - Whoa. Where's all the food? 643 00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:44,667 It's all gone! 644 00:22:44,711 --> 00:22:46,147 Who ate all this? 645 00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:51,195 Terry McConky. 646 00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:53,023 - It actually doesn't look half bad. 647 00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:55,156 - Yeah, I like the outside-the-box thinking. 648 00:22:55,199 --> 00:22:57,027 Hey, Andy, why don't you slide that pizza around? 649 00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,333 That part's not cooked over there. 650 00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,682 Why me? 651 00:22:59,726 --> 00:23:02,293 - 'Cause I bet you'd be good at it. 652 00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:03,294 [sizzling] 653 00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:04,731 - all: Aw! - Andy. 654 00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:06,341 Come on. Pay attention, pal! 655 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,777 Do it yourself next time! 656 00:23:07,821 --> 00:23:09,170 - Hey, buddy. Come here. 657 00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:10,780 - Poor guy's just having a rough day. 658 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:13,043 [engine pops] all: Whoa! 659 00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:15,698 - Ah, crap. I hate to say it, 660 00:23:15,742 --> 00:23:17,874 but I think we're gonna have to call Spatchcock. 661 00:23:17,918 --> 00:23:20,442 [both groan] 662 00:23:20,486 --> 00:23:23,140 - Did it stink? You betcha! 663 00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,273 [laughter] 664 00:23:25,316 --> 00:23:27,188 Spatchie, you're hysterical. 665 00:23:27,231 --> 00:23:30,234 - [phone ringing] - Oh! 666 00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:33,194 Hey, Granny. How you doing? 667 00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:36,327 Okay, I'll be right there. 668 00:23:36,371 --> 00:23:38,025 Sorry, ladies. Duty calls. 669 00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:40,027 - But Spatchles, Pete Carroll's coming over, 670 00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:41,724 and we're supposed to have a six-way. 671 00:23:41,768 --> 00:23:43,422 It's not gonna take too long. 672 00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:46,381 Just keep the water hot and the champagne cold. 673 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:47,556 - Spatchie, will you do the trick 674 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,689 one more time before you leave? 675 00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:50,951 I really gotta go. 676 00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:52,561 all: Please, please, please, 677 00:23:52,605 --> 00:23:53,954 please, please, please! 678 00:23:53,997 --> 00:23:56,478 - Okay. all: Yay! 679 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,306 All right. 680 00:23:58,349 --> 00:23:59,742 [inhales deeply] 681 00:23:59,786 --> 00:24:02,832 [all cheering]